Social Media and Relationships

Table of Contents

Table of Contents
The internet has undoubtedly transformed the way we connect and share our lives. Social media and relationships are increasingly intertwined, with platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook quietly working their way into the fabric of marriage—sometimes for the better, but often for the worse.
Let’s address the common misconception first: social media isn’t inherently evil. It’s not the root cause of most relationship issues. Instead, it acts as an amplifier because it can very well magnify the good, the bad and the ugly. If a marriage is solid with happy partners and open communication, social media is unlikely to create any real problems. But if there are unresolved conflicts or dissatisfaction lurking under the surface, social media has a way of turning a spark into a wildfire.
The Amplification Effect
Imagine two scenarios:
- In one, you have a couple that supports each other and shares a healthy bond. One partner posts a selfie, and the other leaves a lighthearted and supportive comment. End of story.
- In the other, you have a couple deeply struggling with trust. That same selfie leads to an argument. “Who’s liking your posts?” “Why did you follow your ex?” What could’ve been a simple online interaction turns into a full-blown fight.
The same tool, social media, produces vastly different outcomes for everyone based on the foundation of the relationship. It doesn’t create the underlying issues, but it merely amplifies them.
How Social Media Magnifies Problems
Social media is designed to grab attention and keep users engaged. Its algorithms feed off of our emotions, which is why it’s filled with highly curated lifestyles, provocative opinions, and viral content. These elements can lead to:
- Comparison Overload: Seeing influencers’ perfect lives can make partners question their own relationship. “Why aren’t we as happy as them?”
- Mistrust: Misinterpreted comments, likes, or DMs can escalate insecurities.
- Distraction: Endless scrolling takes time and energy away from real-world interactions and problems, which can leave partners feeling neglected and not cared for.
- Oversharing: Airing relationship grievances online can turn private issues into public dramas and thus deepen existing wounds.
It’s About the Relationship, NOT the Platform
A key truth to remember is that social media doesn’t inherently destroy relationships. Happy and connected partners who communicate well aren’t likely to have their marriage unravel because of a few likes or follows. But when a relationship is already struggling, social media can become the wedge that drives partners further apart.
If a couple’s foundation is shaky, social media can highlight cracks that were already there: unspoken resentments, insecurities, unmet needs, and more. The platform may get the blame, but the real issue lies in the dynamics between the partners.
What Can Be Done?
- Communicate: Couples should discuss boundaries for social media use. Transparency and mutual respect go a long way.
- Prioritize Connection: Limit screen time especially during meals or date nights to focus on each other. Focus on your partner, not your screen!
- Avoid Comparison: Remember that social media often shows a highlight reel and not the reality.
- Seek Support: If social media-related issues are continuing to cause tension even after following the three steps above, it could be a symptom of deeper problems. Professional guidance (whether from a therapist, coach, or lawyer) can help address the root cause.
Final Thoughts
Social media isn’t going anywhere, and neither are its effects on relationships. It’s so important to understand that it’s not the villain many make it out to be. It’s simply a tool—one that can either strengthen or strain a relationship, depending on what’s already there.
At Merel Family Law, we’ve seen firsthand how social media can complicate relationships and even factor into divorces. But we’ve also seen how open communication and intentional effort can help couples overcome its challenges. If you’re facing difficulties in your marriage, know that it’s not the algorithm that you should spend your energy thinking about. Address what lies beneath instead.
If you’re dealing with relationship challenges and need support, schedule a consultation with us here or call (312) 408-7000 if you’re in a hurry.

Written By Jonathan Merel
Jonathan Merel is an experienced attorney who advocates for his clients in all divorce and family law proceedings, including settlement negotiations and trials. Jonathan founded Merel Family Law in early 2009 after working for many years at another family law firm in Chicago.