Table of Contents
Table of Contents
Many people don’t want to think about divorce before marriage, but the best way to avoid divorce is to never end up in a bad marriage to begin with. That starts with making sure you’re getting married for the right reasons to the right person at the right time.
Here’s how to prevent a divorce before you say “I do.”
1. Stop Thinking You HAVE to Get Married
Society has drilled it into people’s heads that marriage is the natural next step.
This is the “normal” cycle: Dating → engaged → married → kids → white picket fence.
Guess what? You do not have to follow that path.
- Marriage is not a requirement for happiness.
- Marriage is not a guarantee for a great life.
- Marriage is not something you should be pressured into just because you hit a certain age.
Getting married just because “it’s time” or because your friends keep asking when you’ll settle down is how people end up in miserable marriages they regret.
If you’re getting married, make sure it’s because you actually WANT to and not because you feel like you HAVE to.
2. Choose the Right Person
A huge reason people end up in ugly divorces is because they married someone who wasn’t actually a good fit for them.
Why does this happen?
- They felt pressure to settle down. (“I’ve already invested five years into this relationship, so I might as well get married.”)
- They ignored red flags. (“They have a very short temper, but they’ll change once we’re married.”)
- They prioritized chemistry over compatibility. (“We fight all the time, but the passion is insane!”)
Marriage should better your life and make it more fulfilling, not trap you in a constant battle. Before you even think about marriage, ask yourself:
- Do we share the same long-term goals?
- Do I actually enjoy being around this person even on the boring days?
- Can we have tough conversations without it turning into a disaster?
If the answer to any of those is no, you might want to rethink things because love alone doesn’t guarantee a happy marriage.
3. Don’t Let Lust Cloud Your Judgment
Attraction is great, but that won’t save a marriage if the foundation is made of garbage.
Plenty get caught up in passion, get married way too fast, and realize too late that they have absolutely nothing in common. The honeymoon phase always fades eventually, and if there’s nothing solid underneath, that’s a recipe for divorce.
Choose a partner you actually like as a person.
4. ALWAYS Get a Prenup
A big misconception is that a prenup means you don’t trust your partner. That’s nonsense.
A prenup isn’t planning for failure. It’s protecting both people in case things don’t work out because the reality is that things don’t always work out.
A prenup:
- Forces honest financial conversations before marriage.
- Prevents years of ugly and costly court battles if you do split.
- Protects businesses, inheritances, and personal assets.
If you’re serious about marriage, you should be serious about protecting each other from unnecessary legal chaos.
5. Take Your Time
If you’re not sure you’re making the right choice, wait.
If you’re not sure your partner is truly the right one, wait.
If you’re feeling pressure to hurry up and get married, definitely wait.
A bad marriage can cost you years of your life, financial stability, and peace of mind. If it’s meant to be, waiting a little longer to be 100% sure won’t hurt, but rushing into it can destroy everything.
Final Thoughts
Divorce is messy and often very painful emotionally and financially. While there’s no way to 100% guarantee you’ll never go through one, the best way to prevent it is to make sure you’re getting married for the right reasons to the right person at the right time.
Marriage isn’t something you owe anyone. It’s not something you should force, and it’s definitely not something you should do without thinking about the consequences.
If you find the right person and want to marry them, that’s amazing. If you don’t want to get married at all, that’s great too. It’s your life and you shouldn’t let anybody tell you otherwise.
Just don’t let anyone (family, society, or internal pressure) make this choice for you.
Written By Jonathan Merel
Jonathan Merel is an experienced attorney who advocates for his clients in all divorce and family law proceedings, including settlement negotiations and trials. Jonathan founded Merel Family Law in early 2009 after working for many years at another family law firm in Chicago.
