How Your Texts, DMs, And Posts Can Make Or Break A Divorce Case

We hate to break it to you, but your phone is not your safe space.

It’s not a journal. It’s not a burner diary. It’s a digital paper trail that could wind up in a courtroom slideshow if things get messy enough.

In fact, we’ve seen texts, screenshots, memes, and TikToks come up in court so often that we wouldn’t be surprised if judges started requiring screen recording exhibits.

Let’s talk about why your digital life matters in your divorce and how to avoid becoming Exhibit A in your own downfall.

1. The “I Didn’t Think They’d Keep The Receipts” Myth

Spoiler: they kept the receipts.

Whether it’s a 2 am rant you texted during an argument, an Instagram comment you forgot about, or a weird Facebook like from 2016, you can bet your ex (or their lawyer) is already organizing a Dropbox folder.

In Illinois and Michigan, anything you put in writing can potentially be used as evidence. That means:

• Texts
• DMs
• Emails
• Social media posts
• Screenshots of your group chat meltdown

If it lives on your screen, it might live in your case file.

2. The “private” DM That Wasn’t So Private

We get it: you needed to vent. Or maybe flirt. Or maybe both.

But remember this: there is no such thing as private in the age of screenshots. DMs get shared. Texts get forwarded. Deleted messages live on in backups.

Think before you push send, and definitely don’t message anything you wouldn’t want read aloud by a lawyer in front of a judge.

3. The Social Media Humblebrag That Backfires

Posting that new car, expensive vacation, or luxury brunch lifestyle while claiming financial hardship is a very bold move.

Judges (and opposing counsel) are very online, so when you say “I can’t afford spousal support” but you’re simultaneously tagging yourself in Cabo with a new partner and a $22 cocktail, that won’t be good for you.

In both Illinois and Michigan, your lifestyle can absolutely be used to gauge income, spending, and credibility. Simple translation: Instagram can mess up your case just as fast as bad bookkeeping.

4. The Trash Talk Trap

Look, we know it’s tempting. Your ex is being ridiculous and you may think the world needs to know.

However, when you post that “vague but obvious” Facebook rant or share a spicy meme that’s clearly about them, it can come back to bite you. Hard.

Judges don’t love it when you stir up conflict, especially if there are kids involved. If you’re trying to prove you’re the stable and mature co-parent, airing dirty laundry online is not the right thing to do.

5. So What Can You Do?

• Assume everything you write could be printed and shown to a judge
• Keep communication calm, clear, and boring (boring is good in court)
• Don’t post legal drama on your feed. Save it for your lawyer, not your followers
• Mute, unfollow, or log off if you need to because your mental health matters more than clapping back

Real Talk: Your Phone Can Hurt You Or Help You

We’ve won cases because someone sent a wild message at the wrong time. We’ve also seen clients torpedo their own credibility because they couldn’t stop ranting online.

So use that phone wisely. Communicate smart. If you’re unsure about what to say, say nothing, and then talk to your Chicago, IL divorce lawyer.

Merel Family Law serves families in Illinois and Michigan with clarity, compassion, and real-world solutions.