My Ex Won’t Follow The Parenting Plan: A Guide To Contempt And Enforcement
There is almost nothing more frustrating. You have a 40-page detailed court-ordered Parenting Plan. You went through months of negotiation to get it signed by a judge, and your ex is just not following it.
They’re consistently 30 minutes late for pickup. They forget to put the kids on the phone for your scheduled call. They plan a vacation during your parenting time.
You’re left holding a very expensive piece of paper that feels completely worthless. We hear you, and we’re here to tell you it’s not worthless.
A court order is just that: an order. It’s not a suggestion.
When your ex decides to ignore it, you have a legal remedy. It’s called contempt of court. Here’s the step-by-step playbook. If you require assistance with an ex that isn’t following the payment plan, contact our Chicago, IL complex divorce lawyer today.
Step 1: Document. Document. Document.
A judge cannot and will not act on “He’s always late!” A judge will act on, “Your Honor, here is a detailed log from my co-parenting app showing he was late on these 12 specific dates, along with my text messages to him about it.”
You must be the official record-keeper.
- Keep a factual log: Date, time, what happened. (“Scheduled 6:00 PM pickup. Arrived at 6:42 PM.”)
- Save all communication: Keep screenshots of texts, emails, and app messages where you discuss the violations.
- Don’t engage in fights: Your job isn’t to yell back. Your job is to build your case.
Step 2: File A Petition For Rule To Show Cause (Aka A Motion For Contempt)
When it’s clear there’s a pattern of willful violation, it’s time to stop texting your ex and start talking to us. We will file a motion with the court.
This motion essentially tells the judge, “My ex is violating your direct order. We have the receipts. Please order them to appear in court and show cause, meaning, give one good reason why they shouldn’t be held in contempt.”
Step 3: The Enforcement Part (What The Judge Can Do)
This is where you get your power back. When a judge finds your ex in contempt, they have a whole toolbox of remedies to fix the problem:
- Order make-up parenting time: This is the most common and immediate fix. The judge will order a specific non-negotiable schedule for you to get back every hour you lost.
- Order them to pay your attorney’s fees: This one gets their attention. The judge can (and often does) order the violating parent to pay every dollar you spent on your lawyer to bring this motion.
- Impose fines: The court can fine them for every instance they violated the order.
- Modify the plan: If the violations are constant and damaging to the kids, the judge can use it as a basis to modify the parenting plan, for instance, by changing the exchange location to a neutral and public spot.
- The nuclear option: Yes, in extreme and repeated cases of flagrant disregard for the order, a judge can order jail time. It’s rare, but it’s on the table and it shows just how seriously the court takes its own orders.
You don’t have to be a doormat. That signed order is your shield and your sword.
A court order is not a suggestion. It’s the law. If your ex needs a reminder, we can deliver it. Connect with Merel Family Law today and let’s build your case.
