So, it’s happened. Your ex hired that lawyer.
As your attorneys, we just got the first email from them. It’s a 10-page single-spaced letter that landed in our inbox at 5:01 PM on a Friday. It uses ALL CAPS and words like “frivolous” and “sanctions.”
It’s making ridiculous demands and generally reads like it was written by a cartoon villain.
When we tell you about this (and we have to), your first question is probably, “Is this person for real?” Your second is, “Is this normal?”
Yes, and unfortunately, yes. This is a tactic. And it’s one we see every single day.
What’s Really Going On Here?
When you’re dealing with an aggressive (we’d call it obnoxious) lawyer, they’re not acting this way by accident. It’s a strategy.
- The Bully Tactic: They believe that if they are loud enough, rude enough, and overwhelming enough, you’ll get tired. They want to wear you down. They want you to get so beaten up and exhausted that you’ll finally just say, “Fine! They can have the house! I just want this to be over!” It’s a strategy of intimidation.
- The Distraction Tactic: This is a classic. When a lawyer has a really weak case, say, their client is hiding assets or making an unreasonable custody demand, their only move is to create a circus. They’ll start a bunch of spot fires over tiny or irrelevant issues to distract you (and the judge) from the losing facts of their case.
- The Billing Tactic: This one is cynical but true. Some lawyers churn the file. Every nasty letter, every pointless motion, every 10-minute angry phone call… that’s another 0.1 or 0.5 on their bill to their own client. They’re starting a fire so they can bill for the water to put it out.
So, What Do We Do About It? (Hint: We Don’t Take The Bait)
This is where our Chicago, IL divorce lawyer’s experience comes in. When we get one of those unhinged, 10-page emails, we don’t panic. We don’t fire one back. We know the game.
- We respond with facts, not feelings. We don’t get into the mud with them. We calmly and professionally respond only to the relevant legal points. We ignore the drama. This drives them crazy.
- We know the judges hate it. We file their nasty letters away, and if their behavior continues, we present it to the judge as a pattern of obstruction. Judges are not amused by this.
- We focus on our case. We don’t let them set the agenda. We keep our eyes on the prize: building our case and moving toward a final resolution.
Don’t let their lawyer’s personality become your problem. That’s what they want. Your job is to focus on your kids and your future. Our job is to handle the rest.
If your divorce is starting to feel like a soap opera, you need a team that doesn’t get rattled. Connect with Merel Family Law. It’s time to get yo
